02.02.12

Oops I accidentally forgot to post yesterday. Oh well.

Today was a bit of a disappointment. It's like, whatever I do is never enough for them. I come home with an 86 average and I get told it's horrible because it's my arts courses plus English that's pulling up my mark. Well guess what? It's friggin super duper hard to get above 90 on an English course okay? And the fact that I decided to dedicate my time to that subject of all things shows that I care about it and want the mark. So stop complaining about some of my other marks that aren't as high. At least they're all still above an 80. Geez.

Besides marks and school, the tension in my family is building up all over again. Ugh. For some, that may mean the need for counselling. For me, it means suck it up because we've tried counselling in the past and it doesn't work. Or at least the person who counselled us didn't help change anything. I figured God would be the best counsellor for this type of stuff anyway. So, I'll just toss everything over to Him.

On the bright side, I had a productive practice with my retreat worship team today. We were able to run through all our sets, assign roles and whatnot. Good bonding time, and jamming time too. I feel excited for retreat, yet so energy drained as well. At least the excitement is a good thing though. It might also be a good getaway from my chaotic family life for a few days. Seems a bit mean for me to think of it that way, but I think everyone just needs time to calm down away from each other.

I really need to give God some time to handle everything in my life. I appreciate when people ask me how I'm doing, but honestly, it's one thing to blog and rant about your life, and another to have people around you everyday asking if the situation's changed. It's not like miracles happen on a daily basis in my life, okay? I'm trusting in God and I know it's gonna take time, so just ask me periodically. Or else it gets annoying. And I'll seem rude to you. Which is not good for the both of us.

I think I'm gonna go snooze for a bit now. My emotions are playing around with my brain today. Stupid things that don't go together. Laters.